My hold on the SW plan is still by my fingertips, with the exhausting craving vs being good battle being fought at all times. It’s madness isn’t it? As always, I’m trying all sorts of methods to keep myself in check – with one part of my brain insisting that reasons like these are why I need ice cream and/or biscuits stuffed into my gob at regular intervals…
1. I stuck to plan for 4 months after Christmas and lost sod all = so what’s the point?
2. In all likelihood I have lipoedema, my legs will always be enormous, dresses will never look nice on me = so what’s the point?
3. I can still get into (most) of my nice clothes = a little bit of something won’t hurt.
4. But I WANT it….really want it, right now. I NEED to eat (insert random crap foodage item) NOW.
None of these reasons are valid in the slightest. Right now, in this moment, the cravings seem absurd, ridiculous. Eating food like that will make me gain weight, and anyone who reads this blog regularly will know that my body will gain weight at any and every opportunity. When the cravings strike though, they are overwhelming, the desire for whatever food it is is so sharp, immediate and desperate that it feels like nothing at all, in the whole world will work to be rid of it except for giving in and eating whatever it is I’m focused on.
The thing is, giving in, surrendering, feels like the easy option – but it’s not. I need to remember that, and remember it good! In times of clarity, it’s things like this I should listen to…
1. When you eat crap, you feel crap. Every time. This time won’t be different.
2. Eating a tub of Haagen Dazs WILL show on the scales, I gain so easily and find losing so hard, why do I sabotage myself?
3. Being all upset about gaining weight when you are eating crap food is like feeling upset for being in pain when you’ve stabbed yourself.
4. Giving into the craving will not make it go away, not permanently. It will return, again and again and again.
5. I like being able to walk for miles, I like being able to ride Margot for even more miles, if I gain much more weight, I’ll lose those abilities.
6. I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again. So what if it’s not easy, who said it would be easy? Don’t keep on making the same mistakes, learn from them and move the chuff on!
I may be paraphrasing a motivational I’ve seen here, but perhaps I should tattoo this on my eating hand…
“Resisting a craving is hard, gaining weight and losing what you’ve worked towards is hard – choose your hard”
In the last few days I’ve had a couple of truly lovely emails from ladies who have found this blog, and have been inspired to join or rejoin Slimming World by reading my words. Pages of this blog have now been read over 1 million times – that’s a lot of people who are following my journey, who care in some way about me. Once again, things I need to remember when times get hard.
More tools have now been procured to help me, including a motivational diet app, which even has a food panic button which you can hit when you’re struggling and it’ll supply a motivational tip. Can’t hurt right? I will get back to that easy, effortless following of the plan. I just have to keep trying, I’ll only have failed when I stop trying. I will not stop trying.