Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Another Award Bites The Dust!

After the stress of yesterday I perhaps shouldn't have been surprised when my body reverted to its usual way of dealing with it, by sleeping way too late, and I mean LATE. It was 3pm when I woke up, and Hague is under strict instructions to wake me up when he gets up tomorrow! Anyway, just for a change, I digress! I woke up, popped my tablets and figured as it was weigh in day I wouldn't bother with breakfast and so just relaxed with Hague for a little while before heading to group.

I was expecting a big gain, and I wasn't let down. 7½lbs on. I was gutted. I mean, I know I've had a lot of off plan days, but today marks 6 on plan, and that does feel an excessive gain for the amount of off-plan-ness I've had. Still there is nothing at all that can be done about it, nothing at all, and so, for now, it's goodbye to this award too....

So now I'm heavier than I was 10 months ago. What a depressing thought. Still there is only one person to blame, me. Yes, I may gain when I shouldn't and gain a lot when I should, but I could have stuck to plan, and I could well have been closing in on target now despite my hideous plateau back in Spring. It's my fault I'm not, simple as that. I stayed to group, and it was a good one. Both of Claire's "Biggest Loser's", myself and Helena are struggling at the moment, and so we had a good natter after group, trying to pin down the why's....

  1. We look and feel tons better than we did before, we've both lost around the same amount of weight and so it's still marvellous to be "normal", have we lost that determination and drive not to be fat anymore?
  2. Perhaps we were too strict before, we were both 100% on plan girls, 100% of the time, perhaps we've lost the ability to do things in a reasonable way? It's either 100% on or 100% off?
  3. Ice cream is evil
  4. Despite losing the weight, neither of us are happy with how we look, focusing hugely on the saggy, baggy bits we don't like.
  5. We both know that we can do this, and are both determined to get there.
So there we go, some little nuggets that we can take away and digest, I know I most definitely will, as I really have come too far to give up, and I also have 6 on plan days under my belt as a good start to losing the 2lbs I need to next week to re-gain that award. I do have one stumbling block, a party for my Dad's 65th birthday on Sunday, but I will eat a large dinner before hand and maybe sneak some SW friendly snacks with me on the day. For the rest of this week I'll also keep lowish on the syns where possible to limit the damage. Plans are in place, no excuses.

Obviously I was peckish at group, and so ate whilst I was there.

My newly found lower calorie alternative to the Costa Mint and Lime cooler, the Starbucks Lime Refresha, just 4½ syns for a venti, and lovely on a warm day, plus cherries. I was a bit late heading back from group, mainly as I was nattering to Helena for ages and so came home to a perfectly cooked jacket spud that Hague had put in the oven for me, which I dolloped up with a huge salad and some cottage cheese and Cheddar.

Just what I'd fancied! After I'd eaten I decided to get some more activity under my belt and so took Margot to meet Dan after kickboxing, I got there early and so got to see him sparring, he really is good at his sport, and I'm so proud of him for chasing that dream of his :o) We walked home with another fighter, Danny, chatting about the sport before I left them to cycle the long way home, beating Hague home and so cycling a bit more to go find him! It was good to get back onto Margot too, and not have too much trouble from my head.

We got in and I had a dessert whilst Hague had his dinner.

Strawberries, vanilla prunes, yogurt and cinnamon. Delish. I then whinged a bit online whilst popping pills and wondering why I wasn't getting hungry! In the end it was gone midnight by the time I got peckish again, so I rustled up something quick and light, also followed by a quick dessert.

 A mix of meatballs, tomatoes, onions and mushrooms topped with cheese, with a dessert of a HiFi bar and a couple of apricots to round off my day. The HiFi bar did taste rather similar to the Haagen Dazs ice cream that has me under it's spell, so hopefully having those in the house will help to wean me off the synful deliciousness! It certainly can't hurt!

Food Diary (Green)

Free and Superfree
Aldi salad bag
cottage cheese with onion and chive
Activia 0% vanilla yogurt
Quorn meatballs
chopped tomatoes

Healthy Extras
A - (both) - 40g reduced fat Cheddar
B - 70g Whitworths vanilla prunes (you're allowed 75g, but the bag is 140g so I tend to just have 70!)
B - HiFi bar

Starbucks Venti Lime Refresha      4½

Few syns saved for Sunday there, and also some food for thought for this week. I'll be honest, walking to group today, I pondered buying some crap food on the way home. I knew I was in for a gain and just felt my mind turning that way. Despite a good group, and some good advice my mind was still wavering that way, but I made it home without caving in and have enjoyed my food tonight anyway. 

I want to be back to that 11½st lost inspiration, I want to get back into the clothes I was wearing then that are now too small. I want to get to target, whatever that may look like with (probable) Lipoedema to contend with. My journey has never been easy, and right now it's seeming harder than ever, but I've managed 6 days now, I can manage 6 more, and more and more and more right? 

So positives from today...
  1. The support from group, and my friends including all the Purple Bus passengers and especially Helena, Donna and Sam at group tonight
  2. I resisted crap, I resisted good.
  3. I got out on Margot again - one of my favourite feelings.
So that's 3 days of positives! I'm quite impressed with that as the days haven't felt overly good, but you can always find the good things if you try hard enough. So here's to day 7 on plan, a full week under my belt and hopefully a nice loss next week.


1 comment:

  1. That award is still very really. It's not lost. It means you can lose the weight-- you know that because you've done it. You are an inspiration. As I keep looking at how to begin my journey, I see all you've accomplished. One of the things that inspires me the most is that when you have those inevitable setbacks, you look at what is and isn't working and keep going