Wednesday, 11 June 2014

I CAN Do This!!!!!

If I keep saying it, it'll happen right? 

I wish I knew what has happened to me, to my rock steady, iron clad willpower and my determination to stay on plan for good. It has deflated, left me, and I don't know why....

...well when I say that, I probably have a bit of an idea why, after trying so desperately to lose weight and getting nowhere for months, easing my foot off the pedal has been very relaxing. Too relaxing obviously, and now old habits are creeping back in with a vengeance. It's not a good place to be. I thought I'd beaten the old me into submission, the me that would crave junk food for no good reason, would binge until I felt ill and the me that reached over 25stone. Obviously she's stronger than I thought...but I like new me. I like the clothes I can fit into, I like what I can do now, and she will not win. She won't. I WILL get over this blip and get back on track, so Slimming World is as easy to me as breathing again. One step at a time, and so today, I'm doing this....

That's it. The line is drawn. No more messing about, no more binge eating and no more succumbing to cravings which do untold harm to my state of mind. It's done.

Today has been a 100% on plan day, and it's felt good. Despite waking up still feeling stuffed and rather ill after the overindulgence of last night, I had breakfast, as I wanted to get back into my good habits, so it was a small, but perfectly formed meal I enjoyed.

I would probably have had more but the strawberries were bloody tiny and I quite frankly, couldn't be arsed to chop up anymore ;o) With breakfast eaten, I pretty much had to get myself up and out ready for work. At least there are only 4 days in this week after me getting a swap for yesterday so I could do our Harbour Radio show. When I left, I reminded Hague to pick up a Woman's Own magazine and headed off.

Work was much of a muchness, and for the first time this year it was hugely warm inside. I mean it's always pretty warm, but today it was stifling. It's just one of those things that are slowly improving, but for now, we just have to put up with it. At least there's a filler near the window! Foodwise, work shaped up like this...

Only the two breaks today, as I had a changeover around dinner time and so didn't get round to eating until 7.30, so didn't have much time left to squeeze in the last break, never mind. The shift went past quite quickly though, which is never a bad thing and I couldn't wait to get home and get my hands on the magazine Hague had picked up for me earlier...

Why the excitement about a magazine? I'll give you one guess...

SQUEE!! This has been on the horizon for a while now, but I was so pleased with how the story was written and just how good it all looks, I'm so pleased. Let's be honest, I shouldn't need any more motivation than that should I really? 

It's definitely made me remember how far I've come, and how much I have to lose should I regain the weight. The reasons worked so well for me, and I think the fact that I've achieved most of them isn't helping my focus, so perhaps I need to work on another list to get me through these last few stone to target. It can't hurt anyway!

I may have been very excited, but it didn't stop me wanting dinner!

Very cheesey pasta there, with a tub of LowLow and topped with 6 syns worth of grated cheese. Just what I fancied! Dessert was simple, and partly courtesy of a bargain run after we finished on the radio last night.

All that remains of this exciting day, is for me to wind down, have a bath and get myself to bed. Hopefully getting enough sleep to drag myself to weigh in in the morning to face the music! We shall see ;o)

Food Diary - Green

Free and Superfree
Activia 0% vanilla yogurt
sharon fruit
bistro salad
cherry tomatoes
cottage cheese with onion and chive

Healthy Extras
A - (both) - 60g LowLow cheese spread
B - WeightWatchers wholemeal pitta 
B - 2 Aldi Benefit bars

Danio blueberry yogurt                3
30g Cheddar                               6

Total syns                                   9

Quite a modest food day today, probably my body has had enough food shoved into it over the last few days and is having a bit of a break! With an on plan day under my belt, no excuses not to do this, and my national magazine debut, today has been a good day. I shall do my utter best to ensure it's the first of many, and to ensure I stay on this bus until the day that Claire hands over my target certificate, the target I set all those months ago. Because I CAN do this, and I WILL do this, be it for my 40th or 41st birthday. The holiday is over, it's back to work time for this Slimming World Gal. I'm back, and I'm ready to do this thang!

Tiny potato is wise, tiny potato believes in me. I will do the thing. I will get to target. The end game starts today.

1 comment:

  1. Well done Karen . Hopefully seeing yourself in a magazine will help you see how far you have come and to keep on trucking! Everyone needs a break, we arent robots. Glad to see your back on track again and feeling good about it. :-) Elaine