Wednesday, 15 January 2014

*Enter Multiple Swear Words Here*

Tuesday started off so well. I woke up just before my alarm after a lovely, solid sleep. Something that's pretty rare on a night shift, as normally there are lots of little things disturbing me, but not yesterday. Unfortunately that was the high point of the day. I got myself up and dressed as it was weigh in. My first one since before Christmas, and everything made me feel fat. Not a good sign, and when I got on the scales I was presented with a gain of 7½lbs....I was gutted, in fact I don't think gutted is good enough a word, I was devastated. Yes, I had a wonderful Christmas, but I was off plan for 6 days, that's it, just 6 days, and I got straight back on plan, 100% back on plan on January 2nd and have been firmly on the bus ever since, so I'm sure you can all appreciate why I spent pretty much the entire time at my Slimming World group in tears. I've  had better weigh in's....

Despite the ever wonderful Sam trying to cheer me up, and all the new members getting fabulous losses I was still incredibly upset when I headed home. Hague had already left for kickboxing, but had left me dinner simmering, all ready for me to eat before work.

A tin of chickpea dahl, with added butternut squash, sweet potato, courgette and spinach, and with that eaten I got myself off to work.

The day then seemed determined to continue in the same, shitty vein, with machines playing up and barely any emailing to Hague getting down, finished off with a size change right at the end of the shift, as well as me ripping off the end of a fingernail, and then taking a sizeable lump out of my knuckle. Excellent chuffing day. At least the food was tasty.

It's always nice when I have two HeB's to take to work, and I rang the changes with some apricots as a snack. Lunch was half a leftover cous cous quiche with salad, wolfed down as I'd headed for lunch with the promise from our engineers that they'd be sorting the problem for at least half an hour, only to be told 10 minutes into my break that the machine was running again. Par for the course methinks....anyway...I finally escaped just before 6 and had to head to Asda to get some food for Boo and canned caffeine for Hague. I'd be told to wake Hague up for cuddles when I got in, and so that's what I did, at least snuggles and a hot chocolate were a better end to a truly craptastic day.

Food Diary

Free Food
chickpea dahl (Asda)
sweet potato
butternut squash
cous cous quiche
cherry tomatoes

Healthy Extras
A - 350ml skimmed milk
A - (split) - 20g reduced fat Cheddar & 125ml semi-skimmed milk
B - 75g semi-dried apricots
B - HiFi Bar

Gingerbread latte (HeA for milk)                         2½
10ml gingerbread syrup                                       2
Crispy Fries                                                        3½
Liberte honey yogurt                                           1½
Galaxy hot chocolate                                          2

Total syns                                                           11½

I was rather glad to see the back of yesterday. Even at work I felt teary and upset. I've had so many lovely message from people saying to me exactly what I'd say to them in this situation, but I'm still upset about it. it just doesn't seem fair and whilst I know more than most how unfair weight loss can be, it still hurts. I really can't see how what I ate and drank over Christmas could possibly add up to such a huge gain, I really can't. It's not like we sat and ate and ate and ate, far from it, as we surprised ourselves with how little of the crap we could eat in the end. 

Oh well, nothing I can do about it now, my book has a +7½ in it, my total weight loss is now "just" 10st 13½lbs, and I just have to pull up my Big Girl pants and get on with it. After all giving up is most definitely not an option eh?

So, in an effort to not end this blog on such a horrible negative note, I'll give you, and myself, some of the things I should be focusing on instead.....

My size 18 jeans now need a belt, I can take them off without undoing them.
Even with a 6 week gap, I can still run further than I could walk when I started.
Someone joined my SW group last week after seeing my article in the paper and lost 6lbs in her first week. 
I'm STILL 10st 13½lbs lighter than I was 19 months ago.
The support I have from my SW group, and the online groups, especially the Purple Bus is beyond amazing, and my journey has brought some wonderful friends into my life.
I looked like this on my 37th birthday.....

....and I'll be looking like this for my 39th in just under 4 weeks time.

These are the things I need to remember. Not get upset by things that can't be undone.


1 comment:

  1. Long time lurker here who has just rejoined class tonight after a break and as a consequence a 1 stone gain. You have been inspiirational this past year and your success is clear to see, you look stunning and i have never doubted for one minute that you wont achive your goal for your 40th. I look forward to following the rest of your journey, your posts are just what some of us need when we feel like giving up. You go giirl xxx