Recharge

Sometimes things turn out rather well when you least expect it. I like days like that, and yesterday turned out to be one of those days, despite starting out less than promising...I didn't have much sleep, I kept waking up at odd times and then gave up the ghost at about 2pm. Very early when I'm on a 12, but it was pointless to stay in bed. Hague sorted me out some dinner and coffee to keep me going though.

 Just what I fancied, although it didn't help with the tiredness! After another coffee I got myself to work. Eventually, as the traffic was awful, no idea why, but it meant I was rushing about a smidge to get there. In a rather fabulous turn of events, when I got there I was told that as it was my split week - that means that I'm not on the same shift as the rest of my team - I could go home at 10. How wonderful is that? It certainly put me in a good mood, and seemingly Hague too once I'd informed him as he's really not wanted me to go into work at all since he got back. So a lickety split 4 hours later - with a break with these (sideways) noms - and I was out of the door! :o)

 It was brilliant to be home by half ten. Even better that it marked the start of my week off, so 10 whole days with no work. I LOVE my job when I'm not there lol! I got myself some dinner sorted when I got in, a mish mash of work noms and my Healthy Extras. Asda veggie chilli and cheese on toast. Lush..

As I was still weary, we decided to head up for a nice soak, which of course included bath snacks before we headed to bed. 

Got to love an unexpected bonus night!

Food Diary (Thursday)

Free Food
potatoes
mushy peas
sprouts
apple
Asda veggie chilli (can)
spinach
cherry tomatoes
persimmon

Healthy Extras
A - both - 40g reduced fat Cheddar
B - 2 Alpen Lights
B - 2 slices wholemeal bread (400g loaf)

Syns
Quorn sausages                              3
LC extra light triangle                     1
milk in cofffee (2)                           1
Galaxy bubbles hot chocolate        2
Nak'd raisins                                 3½

Total syns                                     10½

Much as I'd love to say I woke up after my early night (early for someone supposed to be on a night shift) all refreshed, I didn't. We went to sleep at around 3, and I woke up again at 6.30 and couldn't get back to sleep at all. I tried, I really did, put the iPad down and everything, but no sleep. The ghost was given up just after ten and we had a cooked breakfast to keep ourselves going - Hague hadn't slept well either.

Reasonably easy there, but it was a team effort :) The theme of the day had already been sorted though....

After a long, and tiring few days helping out family in Barnsley, Hague just wanted to rest up and do nothing at all, and that's exactly what we've done. Watched Big Bang Theory, cuddled cats and did a whole lot of bugger all. Just what the doctor ordered :o)

Food wise, the day shaped up like this....

A bit more activity for tomorrow maybe, but it's been a much needed day of chilling out.

Food Diary (Friday)

Free Food
eggs
mushrooms
cherry tomatoes
noodles
broccoli
Quorn chunks
frozen summer fruits
frozen blueberries
fat free Greek yogurt
Pasta n Sauce
spinach

Healthy Extras
A - 250ml semi-skimmed milk
A - 3 Babybel light
B - HiFi bar
B - 30g Stilton

Syns
2½ Quorn sausages                                 2½
4tbsp Asda sweet chilli sauce                   2
tbsp Agave nectar                                   1½
Alpen Light                                             3
Gingerbread latte                                    4½
Liberte yogurt                                         1½

Total syns                                               14

Just the day I needed, and Hague needed. A little battery recharge before my week off, where, just for a change I have lots and lots planned in the sorting and tidying genre....only time will tell how much actually gets done ;o)

Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat

My life really is like GroundHog Day at times, I seem to have done nothing but those four words all week, with the exception of radio fun on Monday!

After finally putting down the laptop nodding off at around 9am, I woke up a bit puzzled as to why it was so dark as I’d set my alarm for 4.30. It was nearly 5.30, and my phone was merrily telling me my alarm was going off whilst emitting no noise whatsoever. Thanks for that phone, very chuffing handy. At least I woke up before I had to pick Hague up from the station, that would have been a tad embarrassing!

I got myself some dinner on the go, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher once more and fed my poor neglected Menagerie before heading out to pick up my fabulous man who has been up in Barnsley helping his Mum out for a few extra days. I have missed him so much, but am glad he was up there when he was needed. Still great to have him back though!

As soon as I got in, it was dinner time.

Just oven baked risotto, but it’s rather yummy and and easy – so perfect for lazy days. With that eaten, I had just an hour to snuggle up on the sofa with my Man before having to head to work. You know, I really need to suggest Duvet Days at work, as I SO wanted to stay at home snuggling, even though I already know what the answer would be!

At least breaks were a bit more forthcoming tonight, and the machines were behaving impeccably, which gave me a chance to investigate hotels for a weekend in London myself and TOK have got planned – so exciting! So exciting in fact I had to eat all of these noms to keep me going, although somehow I managed to forget the crisps I’d put with my lunch….no idea how. I shall blame Hague as he is home again ;o)

The last of the MitchyStrone soup there! Work wasn't too bad, with the machines behaving impeccably for a change, so well in fact that I might not be in for Friday night! Fingers crossed! Once work was done and dusted I headed home with my mind mulling over what to have to eat, I'd used one solitary syn on some milk in a couple of coffee's and still had a HeB left, so the food world was pretty much my oyster. Sort of. In the end I was umming and aahhing between peanut butter on toast, lemon curd on toast or my last Graze porridge box.....

Porridge won. With my HeB of nutty muesli and a banana on top. Lovely it was too!With that eaten nice and quietly I headed up to bed, which had a Hague in it for the first time since Friday :o) Happy Girlie :o)

Food Diary

Free Food

rice

sweet potato

courgette

cherry tomato

mushrooms

leeks

persimmon

MitchyStrone soup

Activia 0% yogurt

apple

banana

Healthy Extras

A - 250ml semi-skimmed milk

A - 3 Babybel light

B - 4 Laughing Cow blue cheese lights

B - 35g Dorset Cereals nutty muesli

Syns

2 Alpen Lights                                6

Graze porridge punnet                    7½

Total syns                                      13½

A 12 hour shift looms tonight - I'm desperately hoping that it's the last one, as I'm now truly shattered. Another 4 weeks stretch, with 3 weeks of those being nights has really taken it out of me. I cannot wait for my week off, I really can't. Plus, I get to spend some time with Hague. Always good.

Radio and Reconsiderings

Monday was  rather odd. Fabulous bits and very horrible bits, with work as the cherry on top. The rather bleaurgh cherry.

I woke up at 5am. This was despite me going to bed at 2am, feeling shattered and hoping to sleep until my alarm went off. No such luck. As I spent an hour  trying to nod off again I thought I might as well get breakfast prepped, and so went downstairs planning to soak some couscous and get some blueberries out of the freezer. Alas, the couscous monster had demolished the pack of toasted goodness I thought was still in the cupboard, and so I just got the blueberries out, made a cuppa and headed back upstairs. Just as I was almost drifting off again at 8am, the sounds of work being carried out on next door’s roof stopped any of that nonsense right in its tracks. I really am doomed to be Zombie Girl this week I think!

At least when I got up, breakfast only took about 2 minutes to prepare.

With that eaten, I got myself prettified and headed out to meet Claire (my Consultant) as we were both going to be on our local radio station, Harbour Radio. We had a cheeky Costa (skinny gingerbread latte of course) and then headed off to the studio. I had a fabulous time, it was such fun being on air, and Bigg Nevv (the DJ) was hugely complimentary about how I looked. I managed to give TOK and Doug a shout out – I wasn’t being mean, Hague couldn’t listen – and we were on for an hour, much longer than planned. In fact, I might even be going back next week! I loved every minute!

When I got home, it was back down to earth time. I was shattered, and got myself tucked up in bed. At first, it was lovely and quiet and I managed to doze off, but all too soon it was noisy fecking builders a gogo and it wasn’t until they’d finished up at 4 that I finally got some sleep. Boy did I not want to get up at 7, but needs must and so up I got, got myself, and the poor animals fed and headed out to work. No superfree. I am a Bad Karen.

Work was a pain, with me being shuttled between different machines to cover breaks and shortages – at least it made the shift go quicker, fuelled by this pile o’noms.

My lunch was homemade Mitchystrone soup, it shall be making many appearances this week as I made a slow cooker full! Monday's was topped with Feta :o) I found some Bear YoYo's too, so they made a rare appearance.

I got home, pondering whether or not to have a bath, and in the end, having a nice soak won., along with some slightly different nommage.

I watched the Ch4 documentary, My Baggy Body whilst I was in the bath. Obviously, with my loss being comparable to those featured, I thought it was worth a watch. However, I was quite disappointed. All the people shown still had weight to lose, in fact all of them were still in the obese category.  With the exception of Pauline (and Fred) I felt the others shown should have been encouraged to reach a healthy weight first, rather than rushing into surgery. The operation looked hideous. The guy was left with huge scars and strange dents and bumps on his body. In my humble opinion he had looked better before. In fact, the documentary has made me think twice over whether I do indeed want the surgery I thought I was desperate to have. An eye-opener that’s for sure. It also showed just how much weight loss needs to be tackled in your head too. Sarah had had gastric surgery, attended WeightWatchers and was still obese, attributing her lack of happiness to her size and loose skin. Something that she seemed to make progress with after therapy, showing that it’s not as easy as eat less and move more….

Perhaps one of these days I’ll share with you MY baggy body, as it most definitely is one – but as friends, family, work colleagues and strangers all read this blog, I’ll have to be feeling very brave to put up an underwear show to display what clothes currently hide quite well!

Anyway, after that, it was of course time to settle down, which I managed to do, despite the banging and crashing on next door’s roof!

Food Diary (Monday)

Free Food

blueberries

Activia 0% yogurt

potatoes

eggs

banana

Mitchystrone soup (tomatoes, baked beans, casserole mix, spinach, stock & pasta)

apple

persimmon

Healthy Extras

A - 45g Feta

A - 350ml semi-skimmed milk (in my Costa latte)

B - 2 Alpen Lights

B - (split) - 2 Bear YoYo's & 1 slice wholemeal bread (400g loaf)

Syns

Costa Latte                                            2½

3 Quorn sausages                                   3

Asda smartprice ready salted crisps        5

Galaxy bubbles hot chocolate                 2

1 Laughing Cow extra light triangle         1

Total syns                                              13½

I’d set my alarm for 4.30 today, giving me plenty of sleep, even with me not nodding off until around 9. I woke up earlier than that though, around 2.30, but dropped back off to sleep, and then, as I was so comfy, decided to stay in bed until the last possible moment before heading to weigh in, getting there just before 6! I was just in time for the scales though, and last to weigh in, and I had a loss of 5lbs. Very pleased with that as I’d been so upset the week before. So I’m still 2½lbs away from my lightest, but definitely closer than I was.

Whilst I was there, I had a look through my weigh in book. Anyone who reads my blog regularly will know how my body fights against this weight loss malarkey with annoying gains far too often for my liking, so I thought I’d work out how much those gains were – to see how many lbs, in total, I’ve had to shift….

What do you reckon??

45 chuffing lbs! That’s 3 stone and 3lbs on top of the “total” of 11st 4½lbs I’ve dropped from 25st 2½lbs to my current weight of 13st 12lbs. So I’ve had to lose over 14½st because my body likes to randomly gain weight for no bloody reason. How frustrating is that? If my body just lost, like it should, when I stick to plan, I’d be at target by now….

Gah.

I shall not dwell on that though, as the very thought of it got me rather angry. Not at myself as such, as the gains are rarely my fault, more at my body’s desperate desire to stay squishy. Dearest body, you are going to lose that battle :oP

Once I was home, I had a zillion things to do, as Hague is still up in Barnsley, so whilst on the phone to him, I had to unload the dishwasher, load it again, sort the animals out, get my dinner sorted and get my lunch ready for work. No rest for the wicked! I eventually got it all done and got my dinner inside me just in time to get myself changed and out the door.

It needed to be quick, and so it was just some chopped veggies (courgettes, tomatoes, sweet potato and mushrooms) bunged in the oven whilst the rice cooked, then I nuked a tin of the Asda smartprice vegetable curry and stirred the veg in. Job done, and all for a single syn.

Work was hectic, my feet didn’t touch the ground for the first hour and a half, and because of the configuration of lines we’re running, breaks are hard to come by due to us not having enough people to cover. Such fun. My breaks may have been at odd times, but I did at least get the allotted three, and this is what I put away during them.

Yet more Mitchystrone there, topped with Cheddar today, only accompanied by a yogurt as I'd had quite a bit for my first break - please don't look too closely at the yogurt though.....I'm a bugger for ignoring dates on them ;o)

All dutifully photographed for my blog and my Pact app, which paid me $0.30 for each portion I ate last week – not bad eh? After a mad, annoying, frustrating start, work settled down quite well, the last hour even went quite quickly and soon it was 6am and I was out in the drizzle, heading for the car and then home - via Asda as the StinkPuppy AKA Bayleigh Boo had no food. Then it was the usual routine of a nice soak, with some snackage before bed, although bed has been delayed slightly whilst I get this blog typed up and polish off a hot chocolate.

Food Diary (Tuesday)

Free Food

rice

courgette

mushrooms

sweet potato

cherry tomatoes

banana

Mitchystrone soup

apple

grapes

Healthy Extras

A - 40g reduced fat Cheddar

A - 3 BabyBel lights

B - 2 Alpen Lights

B - 75g dried apricots

Syns

Asda smartprice vegetable curry             1

Activia creamy coconut yogurt               2½

Asda cottage cheese with pineapple       3

Babybel light                                          2

Galaxy bubbles hot chocolate                 2

Total syns                                               10½

So another day done and dusted, another day closer to the weekend and today (Wednesday) is the day that Hague is finally home! I've missed him so much - and not just because I've had to cook for myself. This is the longest time we've had apart since we moved in together over 5 years ago. It sucks not having him here! Anyway, enough sappyness, it's not even Valentine's Day yet, and it's definitely time for me to try and sleep before The World's Noisiest Roof Workers descend upon next door!

Efforts At Sleeping

It's been one of those weekends when sleep has just eluded me. After Friday's night shift I got about 3½ hours sleep, as for some reason I decided to stay up after dropping Hague off at the station at midday, that meant I spent all day feeling shattered and went up to bed at 9, well, I went up at 9 and then for some reason decided to tidy and sort out my dressing table for an hour - yes, my dressing table had that much crap piled on it - so it was more like 10 before I got settled.

I then woke up at midnight, and again at 3am, and after that, sleep just wasn't happening and so it was at the stupidly early time of about 6am that I got myself breakfast. A weird breakfast for a stupid time.

Boiled eggs, with sweet chilli noodles, which had mushrooms and spinach stirred in. Bit odd, but it's what I fancied as I planned a day lazing on the sofa. I followed it up with coffee and a banana.

By 10am I was fading fast, and so decided to head back up to bed. It was gone midday before I actually nodded off, but actually got some sleep in, and got myself back up at 5.30. Odd sleep patterns are par for the course when you work shifts, and as I'm on nights yet again next week it won't hurt that I'll be staying up late today. I got settled into more Come Dine With Me whilst I decided what to have for dinner, and in the end plumped for a nice roast.

Just a stock pot for the gravy, so syn free. Dessert was a HiFi bar and my last gingerbread coffee as the syrup is now gone. The hunt now starts for a sugar free one, as the only ones I can find online seem to always be out of stock! I've had a rather pleasant afternoon whittling down the Come Dine With Me episodes on the Sky box and chatting to one of my SW group's new members who lost a phenomenal 15lbs in her first week, it will be wonderful to see her reach her target, she seems to be fully in the zone, and it was nice to chat, I'll be searching her out next week for a natter at group :o) 

With an evening of more CDWM, and chatting to TOK and Hague drawing to a close, I rustled up a quick dinner, and will soon be heading up for a nice long soak. 

The rest of the Quorn roast in rolls with a tbsp of mayo, some spinach and cheese and a dessert of defrosted frozen fruits topped with a Liberte yogurt and a breakfast biscuit.

I'm going to be on local radio tomorrow (squee!) and apparently photos will be taken too, so I need to look human, so a bath, hair wash and general de-scrud after spending most of the weekend in my pyjamas is desperately needed! I'm on at 11.30am here if you want to listen, and if anyone knows how to record it, that would be amazing, as Hague will be in Barnsley and I'll be there, so won't be able to hear it! 

Food Diary

Free Food
eggs
noodles
mushrooms
spinach
banana
broccoli
sprouts
Quorn roast
potatoes
gherkins
summer fruits

Healthy Extras
A - 250ml semi-skimmed milk
A - 40g reduced fat Cheddar
B - HiFi bar
B - 60g wholemeal bread

Syns
2 tbsp Asda chosen by you sweet chilli sauce          1
10ml Monin gingerbread syrup                                2
20g wholemeal bread                                              2
tbsp Hellmann's extra light mayo                              ½
Liberte yogurt                                                        1½
Kellogs nutri-grain breakfast biscuit                        2½
Galaxy bubbles hot chocolate                                 2

Total syns                                                               11½

A bit of a nothing day really, the highlight was selling more bits and bobs on eBay, so more spends coming my way which is always good! For now, I'm concentrating on tomorrow, on what to wear, and to how to stop myself swearing on live radio! 

But first, a long soak, in a lovely hot bath to wind down, and hopefully get some sleep before yet another week of nights! 

Hit By The Lazies

A quick catch up tonight as time is running out before yet another night at work and I need to catch you up on Wednesday and Thursday before I head out!

Wednesday was a 12 hour shift, and so pretty much nothing happened apart from me getting up, being tired and working. Such fun! 

Lovely dinner of sausage and mash with veggies, although I didn't manage to eat it all! Rarity for me there, but then it was work.

Veggie chilli under that pile of cheese, along with some synnage in the shape of crisps and a yogurt, I've not had a Danio for ages, they're so good and worth the 3 syns.

Second work meal was ryvitas and a salad, bit lighter as it was 2am!

Finally I was done, and headed home and went straight to bed, which may have been slightly foolish as I was rather achey, something I'm putting down to my run. So I'm now considering going back to C25K to build myself back up.

Food Diary (Wednesday)

Free Food
potatoes
low fat Quorn sausages
sprouts
broccoli
banana
veggie chilli
clementine
spinach
cherry tomatoes
celery
salad bag
Activia 0% yogurt
apple
persimmon

Healthy Extras
A - 40g reduced fat Cheddar
A - LC Emmenthal triangles (4)
B - 2 Alpen Lights
B - 4 Ryvita

Syns
Danio yogurt                     3
Crispy Fries                      3½

Total syns                         6½

Okay, so that was Wednesday, I typed that up then decided to go for a nap rather than finishing it up...so rather than bore you with about a zillion pictures of food that I've eaten over 3 days, here are the extended highlights of Thursday to Saturday :o)

One of my favourites, mac n cheese.

Very odd bath snackage of Quorn chicken slices, beetroot and cottage cheese - plus one of our leftover candy canes.

Rather yummy gnocchi, with spinach, leeks, mushrooms and topped with Feta, the tinned tomatoes are cherry ones due to a minor online shopping error by Hague. Lovely they were too!

Saturday brekkie of fruit, muesli and yogurt, topped with Agave nectar.

Very lazy dinner of veggie pasta with soft cheese stirred in. I was so tired yesterday that it was supposed to be lazy all the way, I had planned on spending all day like this...

The cats would have been happy with that - but I had itchy feet, and I'll be honest, I wanted to "play" with my new boots, and so out to town I went, mainly to pick up a new Argos book. Which I forgot. 

Thing this photo also shows where the 3st I still need to lose is sitting eh? Lol! Anyway, I got home, ate my pasta and pretty much went to bed. I was just so damn tired! 

It's not been the best few days, my sleep has been awful, and now Hague is in Barnsley so I'm feeling a bit meh. I was on plan though, and I think walking in my new boots is definitely good Body Magic! 

More bloggage coming later...

*Enter Multiple Swear Words Here*

Tuesday started off so well. I woke up just before my alarm after a lovely, solid sleep. Something that's pretty rare on a night shift, as normally there are lots of little things disturbing me, but not yesterday. Unfortunately that was the high point of the day. I got myself up and dressed as it was weigh in. My first one since before Christmas, and everything made me feel fat. Not a good sign, and when I got on the scales I was presented with a gain of 7½lbs....I was gutted, in fact I don't think gutted is good enough a word, I was devastated. Yes, I had a wonderful Christmas, but I was off plan for 6 days, that's it, just 6 days, and I got straight back on plan, 100% back on plan on January 2nd and have been firmly on the bus ever since, so I'm sure you can all appreciate why I spent pretty much the entire time at my Slimming World group in tears. I've  had better weigh in's....

Despite the ever wonderful Sam trying to cheer me up, and all the new members getting fabulous losses I was still incredibly upset when I headed home. Hague had already left for kickboxing, but had left me dinner simmering, all ready for me to eat before work.

A tin of chickpea dahl, with added butternut squash, sweet potato, courgette and spinach, and with that eaten I got myself off to work.

The day then seemed determined to continue in the same, shitty vein, with machines playing up and barely any emailing to Hague getting down, finished off with a size change right at the end of the shift, as well as me ripping off the end of a fingernail, and then taking a sizeable lump out of my knuckle. Excellent chuffing day. At least the food was tasty.

It's always nice when I have two HeB's to take to work, and I rang the changes with some apricots as a snack. Lunch was half a leftover cous cous quiche with salad, wolfed down as I'd headed for lunch with the promise from our engineers that they'd be sorting the problem for at least half an hour, only to be told 10 minutes into my break that the machine was running again. Par for the course methinks....anyway...I finally escaped just before 6 and had to head to Asda to get some food for Boo and canned caffeine for Hague. I'd be told to wake Hague up for cuddles when I got in, and so that's what I did, at least snuggles and a hot chocolate were a better end to a truly craptastic day.

Food Diary

Free Food
rice
chickpea dahl (Asda)
sweet potato
butternut squash
courgette
spinach
cous cous quiche
celery
cherry tomatoes
clementine
banana
apple

Healthy Extras
A - 350ml skimmed milk
A - (split) - 20g reduced fat Cheddar & 125ml semi-skimmed milk
B - 75g semi-dried apricots
B - HiFi Bar

Syns
Gingerbread latte (HeA for milk)                         2½
10ml gingerbread syrup                                       2
Crispy Fries                                                        3½
Liberte honey yogurt                                           1½
Galaxy hot chocolate                                          2

Total syns                                                           11½

I was rather glad to see the back of yesterday. Even at work I felt teary and upset. I've had so many lovely message from people saying to me exactly what I'd say to them in this situation, but I'm still upset about it. it just doesn't seem fair and whilst I know more than most how unfair weight loss can be, it still hurts. I really can't see how what I ate and drank over Christmas could possibly add up to such a huge gain, I really can't. It's not like we sat and ate and ate and ate, far from it, as we surprised ourselves with how little of the crap we could eat in the end. 

Oh well, nothing I can do about it now, my book has a +7½ in it, my total weight loss is now "just" 10st 13½lbs, and I just have to pull up my Big Girl pants and get on with it. After all giving up is most definitely not an option eh?

So, in an effort to not end this blog on such a horrible negative note, I'll give you, and myself, some of the things I should be focusing on instead.....

My size 18 jeans now need a belt, I can take them off without undoing them.
Even with a 6 week gap, I can still run further than I could walk when I started.
Someone joined my SW group last week after seeing my article in the paper and lost 6lbs in her first week. 
I'm STILL 10st 13½lbs lighter than I was 19 months ago.
The support I have from my SW group, and the online groups, especially the Purple Bus is beyond amazing, and my journey has brought some wonderful friends into my life.
I looked like this on my 37th birthday.....

....and I'll be looking like this for my 39th in just under 4 weeks time.

These are the things I need to remember. Not get upset by things that can't be undone.

x