Tuesday, 29 October 2013

There's No Pleasing Some People!

The last two days have been long and rather crap-tacular. My mood seems to want to wallow in the dumps and even though lovely things have happened, the crappy things have managed to overwhelm my moods. Not great.

Monday was an early shift, a 12 hour early shift - so not a great start really! We had training for the first 8 hours, and so I had to take in food that wouldn't suffer too greatly from not being near a fridge! In between learning our key functional skills....I know....I ate this lot.

Plus several coffees, of course! The muffins are just magic pancake mix with some blueberries added (3 syns for 100g as they were cooked). It made a lovely change I must say! Storm-a-geddon was raging whilst we were training as well, well when I say raging...

It perhaps wasn't quite as devastating in Norwich as the weathermen would have had us believe in the end! The craptacular theme of the day was enhanced when the training finished early and most people waltzed out of work a couple of hours early. I wasn't one of them as I was on a 12 hour shift, and so I had 2 hours to kill whilst we waited for the next shift to come in. Deep, deep joy! The time was spent productively on FB and reading my Kindle whilst drinking much apple and cinnamon tea and eating.

My mood didn't improve when the machines decided to play up non-stop until we went home either *sigh* At least things started to pick up when I got home, with the wonderful Hague playing chef once more and rustling me up an enormous lasagne, half of which I had for dinner, with chips :o)

The boy can cook! It was really delicious, and had most vegetable in the house in it, so not short of superfree either. For some reason I then decided I wanted something to nibble on in the bath and had the leftover Quorn roast and some grapes as well as a rather large hot chocolate.

Big mistake, as I was stuffed after that lot, uncomfortably so. Not a feeling I enjoy in the slightest anymore, and so on a very full stomach I tried my best to get to sleep.

Food Diary (Monday)

Free Food
minestrone soup
cherry tomatoes
Quorn roast

Healthy Extras
A - 40g reduced fat cheddar
A - 250ml semi-skimmed milk
B - 2 Benefit bars
B - 35g porridge oats (in the magic muffins)

Liberte yogurt                       1
Crispy fries                          3½
Hot chocolate                      3
¼ tin macaroni cheese          1
100g blueberries (cooked)   3

Total syns                           11½

I thought nothing could be worse than the Monday That Never Ended, but I was wrong. I woke up feeling shattered, and dragged myself out of bed. I did manage to pick up my running gear which I'd sorted out before bed, but to be honest, I didn't think I'd use them.

At least I got to work in time to have a coffee before I started, but the day went downhill from there as me and Hague had words, which always upsets me, and so I spent the remainder of the day feeling hugely upset and teary. Luckily I was working on my own, it could have been worse :o( Food wise, my day shaped up like this - 

Back to muesli for today, with blueberries for a change. The rest is pretty much par for the course. Some interesting things happened at work, but I shall divulge those when the time is right, all in all I couldn't wait to just escape, get away from work, and run. I find running does help to improve my mood, getting a bit of fresh air and working my body seems to dismiss horrible thoughts and feelings, or at least help. So I headed to the country park close to work, had a snack, and headed out.

Despite getting a bit lost (again), I managed to do a full 5K in the not too shabby time of 34 minutes (all but a second). It should have cheered me right up, but it just seemed to highlight the fact that I really wasn't feeling too clever, in fact I was a bit shivery and light headed - not good, and so I got myself home sharpish.

I got home and really didn't feel good at all. I put the water on and snuggled under the duvet to keep warm before having a soak in a hot bath. I was really tempted not to go to weigh in. I felt tired, rough and cold - but almost without realising, I found myself getting dressed ready to head out. Mostly as TOK had told me I had to go!

I owe her a huge thank you, as I somehow had lost 1lb. I've never one to bemoan a loss, and certainly not one to roll out an "only" in front of it - I'm always happy to lose, especially when that little lb means I got myself this little beauty...

147½ "only a lb"'s gone now! It's rather an odd feeling. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I had that many of the little buggers to lose, and there are now just 37 of them between me and my (current) target. Madness. Unfortunately, even that didn't lift my mood overly, mainly as I felt supremely poo, and so I headed straight home, had a big cuddle with Hague and made the most of his extreme cheffery of yesterday by having the other half of the enormous lasagne for dinner.

Lush. Since I ate it I've been alternating between blogging, texting and catching up on all the lovely comments on Facebook :o) I'm slowly cheering up, honestly!

Dessert was the tropical treat of mango chunks with a coconut yogurt.

I'll be finished up today with a lovely hot chocolate and many cuddles with Hague to make up for us being upset with each other earlier! I really do hope Wednesday is chuffing better than the last couple of days though!

Food Diary (Tuesday)

Free Food
fat free natural yogurt

Healthy Extras
A - 40g reduced fat Cheddar
A - 250 ml semi-skimmed milk
B - 2 Benefit bars
B - 40g Dorset Cereals simply fruity muesli

Nak'd raisins                                  3½
¼ tin macaroni cheese (lasagne)      1
Activia creamy yogurt                     2½
Hot chocolate                                 2

Total syns                                       9

So despite many things that should have made me muchly happy today, it's the things that made me sad I'm focusing on. I guess sometimes life is just like that. Strangely enough, whilst I was feeling all upset and teary at work, I thought about how the old me would probably have had something "naughty" because of my mood - but that's what it was, remembering the old me, and I just couldn't get my head around the fact that I used to use food like that, as it wouldn't have cheered me up in the slightest. It's food, not a hug. It was the first time I'd really thought about it, and I should really have been bloody cheered up by the fact that having food to make myself feel better is not something I do anymore - no pleasing some people is there??


  1. congrats on the 10.5 stone! what an achievement!! I got my 1.5 stone award tonight, hoping for my 2 stone award for christmas!

    Jade | Beauty Butterfly Blog

  2. How do you make the lasagne? It looks lush