Monday, 29 July 2013

In Which I Have a Shitty Day And Moan About It A Lot (Again)

Once again, today has been shite. I'm getting rather sick and tired of having day after day of crappiness and annoyances, and I'm sure you're all sick and tired of me blogging about them as well!

I had the worst awakening this morning. A crash from downstairs woke me up, never a good sign, and this usually means that Flumpy has knocked something flying whilst she wanders around the house with utter disregard for everything in her way. This morning though it was the gerbil cage that had got in her way :( I came downstairs to a cage in pieces, Flash lying dead in the carnage and two missing gerbils AWOL somewhere in the living room with two cats.

I've had better mornings. 

I managed to find, and eventually catch Minky and Al and got the poor, terrified little things back in their cage and got Flash safely snuggled up in a box. At least the cats hadn't got to him and he was in one piece. A horrible, hideous way to start my day - and I think it's obvious why my mood has stayed low.

As today involved much car related activity, I stayed up, fortified by coffee. It wasn't long before I got a phone call saying the new car would be delivered just after 10. Fantastic, the Fiat 500 I'd be waiting for for years would soon be mine. I was so excited!

Isn't she pretty? Unfortunately, my good mood evaporated rather quickly after a search of the car heralded no auxillary socket, or any other means of connecting my phone to the stereo so I can listen to music. This isn't the entry level model, and the technical specs stated that it was "MP3 compatible" Apparently this means the stereo will play CD's with MP3's on them. Seriously? In 2013? Who still does that when the world and his wife has a smartphone with their entire music library on them? To many people this might be such a small thing as to be insignificant, but I LOVE my music, and listening to my tunes whilst driving is a sure fire way to cheer me up and to find that a brand new car has absolutely no way to do that really did piss me right off. As Hague's train was running late I did get an early chance to drive her anyway as I went and got him from the station so he could make it to work in time. The observant of those amongst you will realise that at this point I still haven't eaten....I had started breakfast, but then had to leave it to get Hague, and started it up again when we got back, only to sit down to eat it as the British Gas man arrived.

At least my boiler service finally got carried out.

Breakfast was cold.

An omelette, stuffed with an entire courgette and some peppers, topped with 3 LowLow cheese slices and some baked beans. I've been flicking through my book looking for SS foods, and apparently beans qualify. At this point, I'm trying everything to lose weight!

Dotty was then picked up, with the sun unhelpfully shining away and highlighting every teeny little mark, scratch and ding on her. So that was nice. As my mood was descending further and further, I decided to head out and see Hague at The Tolhouse, where he was working today. As we chatted, my hideous moods were obviously discussed and Hague suggested that maybe I need to go back onto my happy pills for a little bit longer (I've been weaning myself off) to help me cope, as I'm struggling at the moment. it makes me sad to ponder that though - have all the good feelings I've been having in the last few months just been smoke and mirrors? *sigh* I guess mental health recovery is always fragile, and it's best to act now rather than later, when things could have got a whole lot worse.

After Hague was all finished we had to head out shopping. Yep, it really has been that good a day. Aldi was hell, and Asda was worse. I shall concede one good point. 5 Hovis 400g wholemeal loaves reduced to 36p, which we nabbed. My plans for burgers for dinner were thwarted by Asda having no wholemeal rolls at all, and there were no lemon Alpen lights or SmartPrice beetroot. By the time we got to the beer aisle both of us were at breaking point and so in a happy compromise we picked up a 4 pack of Carling Zest. 5 syns per bottle, 2 bottles each, beer, and within our syns. Thank f*ck for the little things!

After such fun, we were both starving and so Hague set to making a feast to end all feasts. I actually lost track of all the things he was planning to have on his plate, I still had my burgers, but improvised a roll with an Aldi sub instead.

There would actually have been room on the plate for the chips, but the oven was joining in the spirit of the day and was on a go slow! Eurgh, what an annoying day. I went to get a beer then, which wasn't cold :( So that got lobbed into the freezer as an emergency measure! 

I then mired myself in Facebook for a while, before getting myself a rather large dessert.

I finally realised what the double chocolate Alpen Lights remind me of as well, rice crispie cakes....another shimmering high point in my day :) Beer was now finally cold and so I gratefully indulged. I had planned to have two, but think I'll leave it at one, that'll do for me today!

Food Diary

Free Food
baked beans
sweet peppers
spring onion
Quorn sweet red onion burger
coleslaw mix
Asda beetroot salad
Activia 0% lemon and lime yogurt

Healthy Extras
A - (x2) 3 LowLow burger slices
B - 60g wholemeal bread
B - (split) 30g wholemeal bread / Alpen Light

10g wholemeal bread                           1
2 tbsp Hellmanns extra light mayo         1
tbsp ketchup                                        1
Carling Zest                                         5

Total syns                                            8

I think Hague (and TOK) have spoken sense today. Whilst my days have been a bit crappy recently, I'm not coping with them too well. There's no shame in taking anti-depressants, and obviously it's still a bit early for me to come off them completely, the last few weeks have highlighted that. Why make things harder for myself eh? So I shall be getting back on them, and hopefully my moods will stop mirroring the wild up and downs of my weight! Who knows, as TOK pointed out, perhaps there is the missing link I've been searching for? The happy pills?

We shall's to (hopefully) a much happier me in the coming weeks! I'm sure you're all rather relieved to hear that!


  1. You can get those little adapters that you plug in your phone then connect to the radio wirelessly so all hope is not lost :)

    1. I know, I just thought I was done with those. Had one about 6 years ago lol xx

  2. Hi! I've only just seen your blog and your facebook page and WOW you've done amazing well done!! I've had a really bad week this week and put on 3lbs :( I'm now 3.5lbs from my 1 and half stone award! So gutting!

    I've started a blog too to help me but I have no idea how to use Blogger properly to talk with people, just seen down the side that you can have other members join your sites so I've joined yours :)

    If you can or if anyone else wants to, can you please join / follow my blog? It would mean a lot :)