Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Fame and Frustration

Once again I woke up early after a restless night. This is not a pattern I'm enjoying :( I'm not sure if it's the light mornings, the fall out from shifts or just me being broken once more, but it's not fun :(

It is nice to be awake early though, have that feeling that you have a whole day ahead of you to do with whatever you please, even when it's a bit of a grey day like today was when we opened the curtains. After dozing and relaxing for a while the big decision was made that today would be a lazy one. I'm sure none of you are surprised to hear that ;) I did decide to try on a few clothes though, and picked up a dress that a friend had given me back in February. She had said she knew it wouldn't fit yet, and even made sure that having clothes that were too small would be motivational before she gave it to me. It's a gorgeous dress, and is a size 16. For someone who started this journey at a size 28-30, even the thought of getting into a size 16 dress seems a million miles away, but I gave it a go.....and on it went. Now, it's too small still, it's too tight on the bust, and the zip won't quite do up, but it went on, and it's not actually that far away from fitting me. A size 16! So stay tuned for the day, hopefully not too far in the future, when I shall be posting pictures of me - in a size 16 dress! :) :)

With that excitement over, it was time to head downstairs and see to the animals before getting comfy. I fancied a coffee, and thought I'd jazz it up with some almond extract. Luckily I only poured a wee bit into my mug as the appearance of an oil slick on top was not what I expected from a flavoured extract and seeing as the main ingredient is vegetable oil, I probably had about a syn for the couple of drops that I'd added in, not something I'll be doing again as the oil just sat on top of the coffee, live and learn. Not long after the oil slick/coffee disaster the post arrived, an oddity indeed and it contained a Graze box for me, which I'd forgotten ordering until I opened it and remembered about the new breakfast boxes they are launching and wanted to send me for nowt and nothing. Who am I to refuse? 


Lots and lots of porridge, which I do love, but these little packets range from around 7-9 syns (going on the calorie value) so with milk added in, would be a bit high. I had a chat with Claire about whether I could deduct the syns for 35g of porridge oats (6½), and use them as a Healthy Extra and add on the extra syns, the way some people do with bread, but I'm unsure as to whether that would work. For now, they shall remain uneaten, but I'm sure I shall indulge in the future :)

Much as the delivery of much porridge just before breakfast would make you think that my first meal of the day would be oat based, you would be wrong :)


I just can't resist a cooked breakfast when I'm not at work, such a filling way to start the day. Although my egg pan wasn't clean and so my fried eggs got a bit stuck. Still, it all tasted good, and I racked up 3 veg for my 5 a day. As it was officially a lazy day, the internet was calling and so I spotted a tweet by Slimming World asking for pictures of yourself in clothes you had slimmed out of. Not one to resist a bit of self promotion, I tweeted this picture...


Call me sad, but when it was favourited, and then retweeted by Slimming World's twitter I got all excited, I then got lots of lovely tweets from people and gained followers too. It's nice to know that a simple picture can cause people to tweet a stranger with congratulations. A lovely thing to happen, and it put a smile on my face that's for sure - so if you are one of those new followers....Hello! :)

With a day full of the American version of the office, and with the excitement of Twitter and the Graze box behind me, my mind turned to lunch. I was feeling very hungry, but very lazy and so decided to raid the fridge for leftovers.


Maybe a rather eclectic mix, with mac and cheese, salad with cottage cheese, asparagus and sprouts, but it worked for me, albeit it immensely filling! I'm guessing having such a large lunch could have been a contributing factor in me then feeling very tired (again) and having to have a nap (again). I'm starting to feel like I'm getting stuck in that vicious cycle of not sleeping at night, so feeling so tired during the day I have to nap, and then not sleeping at night. I'm going to try and stay up a bit later tonight and hopefully I'll stay asleep, although not sure how helpful that will be as I did succumb to a nap. Oops. I blame Hague for doing lots of Body Magic and making me feel tired too ;)

After my nap I did feel a wee bit better, and spent way too much time chatting away to people on FB and Twitter. After working so much over the last few weeks it does seem that I've had to step away from my social networks a bit, and it was nice to be back, even if I did suffer from Treat Night induced rage after being silly enough to comment on a thread about whether people have treat nights after weigh in. Why do I comment? Why do I even read them? *sigh*

With TOK, Sacha, Shane, Rosie and Helena all keeping me company in various ways it was quite late before I realised, and although I felt hungry, I wanted something sweet and so went for something light and sweet for dinner.

 
It's been an age since I've had weetabix, and they're definitely one of those foods that you just forget how nice they are until you have them after a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed them :) It really hit the spot for dinner too, and made a nice change. 

Food Diary

Free Food
eggs
potatoes
mushrooms
chopped tomatoes
spinach
asparagus
brussell sprouts
cucumber
radishes
fat free cottage cheese
macaroni
spring onions
cherry tomatoes
apple
banana

Healthy Extras
A - 40g reduced fat cheddar (on top of the mac and cheese)
B - 2 weetabix

Syns
3 Quorn sausages                           3
½ tsp vegetable oil                         1
200ml Almond Breeze milk            1
Lemon Activia yogurt                     2½

Total syns                                      7½

It's been an odd day today - It feels like a long day, even though we haven't really done anything. I really should know better than to read threads about Treat Nights though, as it's an issue that really does frustrate me. As someone who has always struggled with their weight, I know that I have issues with food. I have used food as a reward, treat and punishment, I have eaten way more than any normal person should eat in one sitting, or one day. I have eaten in secret, I have destroyed evidence of my binge eating. I have pushed my appetite to the limits, and pretty much had a terrible relationship with food for many years. I know that as far as my Slimming World journey goes, I needed to look at my whole way of dealing with problems, and my relationship with food. I took the decision to follow the plan, and to move away from using food as a tool for praise or punishment. I've now been on the plan for close to 11 months, and not once on my weigh in night have I come home and eaten crap, or had a treat and not counted the syns. I've had one instance of succumbing to food to "cheer myself up" and that was when we came home to a fallen in kitchen ceiling after an off plan weekend. 

I go off plan, or have flexible syns when I want or need them, for a celebration, for a night out, for a weekend away. That to me is a healthy way to eat, a "normal" way to eat, and it's how I plan on eating for the rest of my life.

I have mentioned this before, so I do apologise for mentioning it again, but if you do have treat night, perhaps it's worth just asking yourself why. Why do you need a treat night, are you rewarding yourself or just allowing your bad habits to stay with you, why do you need a take-away to stay on plan for the week? I'm not a consultant or a psychologist, but as someone who finds Slimming World easy to follow, and unrestrictive, I would love to hear people's reasons.

xx 


2 comments:

  1. This is probably going to sound really strange but I've never associated after weigh in treats like that, I mean like a reward or commiseration its just something I've always done, probably a very good reason why I've never really succeeded on a diet. But you are right about them and allowing bad habits to continue. Having said that I do find the plan quite restrictive because I'm a fussy eater that doesn't eat much fruit or veg and has spent 28 years eating processed crap so I guess I do use weigh in night as an excuse to have something I enjoy. I'll stop babbling now :D

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    1. For me, it's all about making the plan work for you. Just have the fruit and veg you enjoy, and focus on what you can have, and do enjoy.
      I'd just rather have my treats when I want them, rather than just because I've stepped on some scales x

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