Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Up's, Down's and Everything Inbetween!

I've been SO tired today. My body clock is still suffering from trying to return to normality after two weeks of nights and so despite going to bed last night utterly shattered I woke up at just gone 6am and couldn't get back to sleep. I tried, I really did, but in the end gave up in favour of coffee and breakfast.

Big ol' coffee there with breakfast of toasted couscous, black forest fruits, blueberries and yogurt. It was really filling, not a bad thing when I woke up really hungry! I spent the next few hours sitting, feeling rather glum before finally feeling tired again and heading upstairs to bed. I tried to sleep some more, and managed a bit of a doze before Hague came upstairs to wake me up as today it was the turn of the Mail Online to publish my story....I hadn't known about that one! So of course, much as I then wanted to sleep more, it didn't happen, so more coffee, and more food it was, whilst watching Godzilla battle various (bloody noisy) thingums on the telly. Awesome :o)

Obviously nothing too heavy as weigh in was looming - something I'd managed to miss last week, and as once again I'd been slack with the plan to say the least, not something I was overly looking forward to, in fact I was pondering getting myself another book to have a proper new start (without losing all my history). As it was, I only gained 1lb, got off lightly there, and sat in on the new members talk to get my head back in the zone. It was nice to stay at group for the first time in ages, especially as several of my friends there have lost even more weight since I last saw them and the difference really is amazing! I did feel a tad embarrassed to be held up as a SW poster girl though, I'm still over a stone heavier than I was before Christmas after all! 

As I'd only had fruit and cereal bars for lunch, I picked my way through some noms during group...

Thank you Aldi and your super six! I was still hungry when I got home though and so once I'd dropped Hague at kickboxing I sorted myself out a low effort dinner whilst more sitting commenced.

Pasta, LowLow and veggies (butternut squash, sweet potato and spinach). Job done in less than half an hour! It was then pretty much time to get Hague, where I then decided to whinge quite a bit about being tired before being informed that Sharknado was on the telly, at which point I woke up enough to thoroughly enjoy that whilst eating my dessert.

I shall leave it there for now, as the shatteredness is returning as Sharknado draws to its utterly fabulous conclusion, and once this is done I'm heading for bed, with a head back on track, oh and finally a Platinum Body Magic award to my name!

Food Diary

Free and Superfree
toasted couscous
Activia 0% vanilla yogurt
frozen black forest fruits
sharon fruit
butternut squash
sweet potato

Healthy Extras
A - 350ml skimmed milk
A - 60g LowLow
B - 60g LowLow
B - HiFi bar

2 Benefit bars                        5
Tesco iced dessert caramel    5½

Total syns                             10½

It's definitely been a long day, an odd one too as my moods have been all over the place, mostly due to being tired. It's funny how you can go from one extreme to the other, with the excitement of the article, nervousness about weigh in, guilt about being a rather crap role model and then excitement again about my first SW award of 2014...yes, I've been that rubbish this year!!

Hopefully I'll lose the 1½lbs I need next week to re-gain my 10½ stone award, and then I can start chiselling away on the remaining 14lb's I've managed to put on since I called target back in April....

One rather lovely thing about all these news articles is that we finally have some rather nice pictures of us...looking all slim and stuff! So I shall end this blog on a high with a picture of the pair of us showing off a loss of nearly 18 stone between us :o)

Monday, 14 July 2014

Monday Madness!

After heading to bed early last night with yet another migraine, it was quite pleasant to wake up reasonably early, and feeling quite dandy. A quick check of my phone to see tons of various notifications was enough to remind me that today was the day my article was printed in the Daily Mirror! So exciting! 

Amongst the notifications was one for a missed call from someone from Good Morning Britain, so I might have yet more excitement coming my way...we shall wait and see! After much checking of phones we then scraped together some pennies from various coppers jars to go and buy a couple of copies of the paper before heading back home to get ourselves bathed and fed ready for the day ahead.

After a weekend of much excess I really HAD to be on plan again today didn't I?? In fact I really don't have any excuse for falling off plan if I'm going to be seen in the paper and in magazines as a weight loss success story! After we'd eaten, we headed off into town as we wanted to pick up a few bits and bobs and then head to the radio station as we were doing an extra hour on the show today due to Keith not being able to make his show. We had rather a lovely mosey, along the seafront and popping in and out of shops before we settled for a quick Starbucks after being informed that Costa no longer sell iced Americano's....oddness indeed as it's now summer! 

It meant I could go for the lower syn option of the Cool Lime Refresha though, at just 4½ syns for a large. Lovely stuff. With our drinks drunk we headed to Harbour where we nattered away about my article and other bits and bobs for 3 hours! By that time of course we were both starving and so headed home sharpish to get some dinner down us, and in a strange turn of events we both had exactly the same thing!

There is in fact a Quorn peppered steak hiding under all that cheese. Can't go wrong with steak and chips though eh? Dessert followed quite a bit later as we were both distracted by cheesey Godzilla-ness as we're revisting the old 1950's versions :o)

A simple, but yummy dessert.

Next up for us is Godzilla vs King Kong whilst I peruse la t'interwebs and maybe partake in more snackage as the evening progresses :)

I do have to thank Hague once again for persuading me to try new fruits, as it was apricots for the first time last week - fresh ones that is - which are delicious, and along with a peach, sharon fruit and my benefit bars did for my last meal of the day before bed.

Food Diary

Free and SuperFree
Quorn peppered steak
Activia 0% vanilla yogurt
sharon fruit

Healthy Extras
A - 250ml semi-skimmed milk
A - 3 Asda lighter cheese slices
B - 2 slices wholemeal bread (400g loaf)
B - 2 Benefit bars

Starbucks Venti Cool Lime Refresha            4½
tbsp ketchup                                                1

Total syns                                                    5½

I'm hoping the excitement of today reminds me just how great it feels to be on plan. I almost felt guilty when I read the article as I seem to have failed so miserably to keep on plan recently. Although I didn't weigh in last week I know the scales will probably be showing another gain this week. I've only got myself to blame though, I've just found it far too easy to fall off plan, and it's taking me further and further from where I want to be.

I guess the very fact that I haven't yet given up shows that I will do this. Previously I'd have stopped going to group by now, and would be well and truly off the wagon. Although I was off plan at the weekend, the rest of the week I was solidly on plan, I just need to stay strong and fight harder when I'm tempted off plan, otherwise I'll never reach target! 

Onwards and downwards as they say, with each new start comes a new chance to make it THIS time that I get 100% back on the wagon, and after all, I will only fail when I stop trying. Here's to a full week on track, and a good loss next Tuesday! 

As always, thank you all so very much for all the support and love you've sent my way today. It's appreciated probably more than you ever know, and it means so much.

Thank you xx

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Standard Bloggage Resumed!

So here we go, two in a day....sort of, as it's past midnight now! After my last blog of night shift ramblings it's now a case of back to normal, well as normal as my life gets!

I got home from work quite early this morning, and settled down in bed hoping to get to sleep straight away so I didn't sleep all day as I knew I wasn't in work tonight...big fail there as I was still awake at 9am, and even when I did drop off it was more dozing than full on sleep and so my big plans to get up at 12.30 were sort of postponed for an hour or three until I felt a bit more awake. I got myself up and as Hague was at work, got myself fed whilst catching up with Celebrity MasterChef.

How wonderfully purple is that for a breakfast? :o) Muesli, a blueberry Danio and blueberries, deliciously purple! Once I was fed I got myself dressed and made the decision to wear heels....not a decision I take lightly as I can barely walk in them - or I never used to be able to walk in them, but walk I did, into town to meet Hague and then back again. Rather a big thing for me there! I'm not saying I'm particularly elegant in them, but hey, it's a start!

We came back home, and then after a swift shoe change, off we went to Asda and Aldi to get our shopping. As Asda had 4 packs of Sharon fruits for 75p, they might just be featuring quite a lot this week ;o) Once we were home, minds turned to dinner, and as Hague is nursing a cold, comfort food was the order of the day.

Seeing as July has decided it's now an Autumnal month, in Yarmouth anyway, the sausage, mash and onion gravy hit the spot perfectly! It wasn't until a while later that I got started on the Sharon fruit, along with a doughnut peach for my dessert.

The evening has passed by with a flurry of FitBit chatter, film watching and mindless internetting, with another meal wedged in whilst watching Insidious 2...

What's a girl to do with a HeB, HeA and syns left? A double decker burger is what to do :) Seeing as we bought 3 more packs of cherry tomatoes to go with the 2 packs we already had, I figured I'd best have some of those too! As it's now past midnight and we're finally watching the new Carrie film (thanks Netflix) I shall leave it there for now, once I have fully updated you with my food diary of course.

Food Diary

Free and Superfree
stock pot
Quorn low fat sausages
doughtnut peach
Sharon fruit
cherry tomatoes

Healthy Extras
A - 250ml semi-skimmed milk
A - 3 Asda lighter cheese slices
B - 40g Dorset Cereals simply fruity muesli
B - 60g wholemeal roll

Danio blueberry                         3
5g wholemeal bread                   ½
2 Asda meat free burgers           1
tbsp ketchup                              1
tbsp mustard                              1

Total syns                                  6½

After having so many off plan days, and with the World Cup final on Sunday which might involve a few beers (or it might not, I'm undecided), I'm going low-ish with syns this week, I'm really desperate to get a loss on Tuesday, and so will be doing my absolute best to stay on plan. As always, I'm really unsure as to why I'm wavering so much at the moment, but I AM feeling a lot better than I have in a while, which is progress at least, and my calendar has some more gold stars on it now too - always a very good thing :o)

Friday, 11 July 2014

The Musings Of A Night Shift Mind

Hmm, Friday again and I haven’t blogged in ages. I do feel so guilty when my thoughts don’t make it down onto paper, well onto the blog typey page. I keep saying I’ll make more of an effort, and then I’ll fall off the wagon again, forget to blog again, get back on the bus and then have about 4 days worth of food to talk about! It’s so silly, no excuses though, I’ve only myself to blame!

Whirlwind through the last week or so it is then…Friday night I didn’t have to work, Saturday morning saw Hague head up to Barnsley to see the boys and me head out for a night out in Norwich with my work mates for a leaving do, bloody fabulous night it was too! In fact, I astounded myself with how much I actually drank without losing the ability to walk/see/stay alive. Impressive indeed, and it truly was a great night.
Sunday should have been spent nursing a hangover from hell, but I felt just fine, if a tad tired, and so spent most of the day being very lazy sitting in from of the television. Eating crap. Not sure why :o(
This week has seen me working nights once more, and skipping weigh in due to barely seeing Hague over the last few days. It has also seen me sticking on plan for a change!

I seem to have spent a lot of time pondering this week. I’m not sure if it’s down to the fact that I’ve been working nights again, which leaves me with much pondering time, or if it’s the big ol’ birthday I have looming in just over 6 months time. Whatever the reason I seem to be re-evaluating lots of things, my weight loss journey included. Perhaps it’s something we all do at certain points, just stop, take a breather and see where we are, what we’ve achieved and what is important to us. As I’ve got older, those things are definitely more sharply focused than they’ve ever been before. I also have a strange feeling that big changes are coming, that I’m standing on the precipice right now…..just waiting….

I’m just not sure what it is.

I DO know that I want to lose more weight. I’m not happy where I am. I also know that I will never have the figure I used to dream of. The loose skin on my arms, and my well founded suspicions that I might suffer from Lipoedema will put paid to that, but it won’t stop me getting myself to the best I can be. Same with fitness, I’ve been out for a jog this week, and took Margot out for a 6 mile ride after work yesterday. I want to be as fit as I can be as well.

For now, I’ll focus on those two things, I have full control(ish) over those and it’s high time I stopped messing about isn’t it really? Caramel shortcakes will not see me in the sz12 denim shorts I bought as target clothing. Haagen Dazs will not help me fit into the gorgeous, floaty Hell Bunny top I bought to slim into. I need to start looking after myself again, fighting the demons that are threatening my new found freedom, threatening to put the real me back in her dowdy box of fat clothes. I need to cling onto plan with my fingertips for now if I have to, until it becomes second nature again.

My food this week has been lovely though, so here are a few of the highlights to whet your appetite until I can muster up a full blog, complete with meals and a food diary rather than a mishmash of 3am mind blurbs that just wanted to come out and play ;o)


Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Just a 12...

I'm afraid that 12 hour night shifts do not make for much in the way of interesting things....and hence, do not make for interesting blogs, but blog I shall :o)

I woke up at 3, which hurts a lot after a night shift, especially when the weather is lovely so people are out on the street yabbering away, and the wee baby seagulls are chirping constantly, and so I'm waking up a lot. Still, such is life, and so I got myself up and as he's pretty fab, Hague had breakfast waiting for me.

Perfect way to start my day :) I ate, had coffee and then had to get ready for work. Although one out of the norm thing happened when I managed to scald my finger whilst making coffee - hardly a high point though eh?

So off to work I went, in the glorious sunshine, to run a filler for 12 hours....damn they were long hours too! There really was nothing exciting to report, I managed to catch bits of the football on iPlayer, and email TOK and Hague until bed stole them away from me, but then it was just me, staving off the boredom and eating foodage like this....

A lovely pasta salad, with the Tesco three citrus dressing and goats cheese. Really delicious it was!

My strange vegetable soup, which seems to get more spicy by the day....even though it only has herbs in...strange.

A lovely milky cup of chai tea to finish up my shift at 5am. I was SO ready for bed by then lol!

So there you have it, I came in, got upstairs, fell into bed and pretty much got me some sleep! Oh the excitement hehe! At least I only have one 12 hour shift this week!

Food Diary

Free and Superfree
low fat Quorn sausages
spring onions
veggie soup

Healthy Extras
A - 300ml orange label (1%) milk
A - 30g goat's cheese
B - 60g wholemeal bread
B - 2 Benefit bars

25g wholemeal bread                      2½
tbsp ketchup                                   1
2 tbsp Tesco citrus dressing             2
Jacob's baked oddities                    5½

Total syns                                       11

As you may have noticed, that's another 100% on plan day under my belt as well! So another star for my calendar, and hopefully another day closer to another loss for next week to get my 10½ stone award back! I'll be honest, I'm still not feeling totally secure on the bus just yet, my mind is wandering to caramel shortbreads more often than it should, but it's not the frenzied craving it has been, so I'm hoping the longer I stay on track, the more these feelings will fade and being on plan will seem second nature once more, as I've said before, all I can do is keep on trying and trying. That way I'll get there :)

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

The Power Of The Scales

Oh it’s been a busy one today – I pretty much did a day’s work before I headed into Norwich for actual work!

When Hague set off for work just after 1, I had planned to get much more sleep, but despite snuggling up in bed, I couldn’t drop off again and so up I got, and in a very strange turn of events I got all productive! As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, I got busy sorting out my 3 meals for the day, as I had the radio show, weigh in and then work to get to.

I’d ummed and ahhed about rushing around to make it to weigh in, but due to my hours this week it was the only group I could make and so once I’d eaten breakfast…

…Spoke to the universe (sort of, we did have someone from over the pond listening – hi Rob) on the radio…and then abandoned Hague to get there, I stood, rather nervously on the scales, but was greeted with pretty damn fine result…

5lbs off! I was so chuffed, especially as things went a tad off plan on Saturday, but it was just the one day. The strange thing is, the naughty devil Karen on my shoulder had been whispering evil things about treating myself after I’d weighed in…whispering that it was over a week until I was weighing in again, that I only wanted another 1lb to hit my 6lbs in two week target, that it wouldn’t hurt, that no-one would know…but you know what, seeing that loss on the scales shut her right up, and I have no intention of straying off plan for any of those non-reasons.

With me on cloud nine, it was then time to head home and get my pre-prepared dinner sorted, it just needed re-heating, cheesing up and eating and I then pretty much had to get myself ready for work.

You can't really beat an oven baked risotto for minimal effort, and it's grand re-heated, it was then off to work time. One high point was the decision to wear my new hoodie...

... which put me in a good even better mood, even more so when a colleague said she loved it :o) Work though was a bit slow, quite stoppy starty, and as always on nights, without much email time with Hague and TOK to keep me sane – night owls, feel free to request my email address – so the highlights pretty much were my noms.

Quite standard fare I guess, and as I made a slow cooker full of it, the soup will be featuring quite heavily this week!

Food Diary

Free and Superfree
Toasted couscous
Activia  0% vanilla yogurt
Black forest fruits
Risotto rice
Pearl barley
Sweet  potato
Stock pot
Sharon fruit
Veggie soup (homemade)

Healthy Extras
A – 300ml 1% milk
A – 75g reduced fat soft cheese
B – 30g Stilton
B – HiFi  Bar

Coffee from machine (with milk and sugar)            1½

Jacob’s baked oddities                                         5½

For a busy day, with a slow shift at work, it's not actually been too bad - I don't feel dead on my feet, well almost, and am proper proud of myself for not giving in to the little cowbag on my shoulder wanting me to cave in and eat crap. It really did give me a huge boost getting that loss, and now I just hope the losses keep coming, and my willpower stays strong. There are just 9 months left for me to lose the 3st 10lbs I want to get to my target before my 40th birthday, it's gonna be close! 

I shall now bid you all a goodnight, as tomorrow brings the joys of a 12 hour shift and I need to get myself into bed, and asleep before too much longer!

Monday, 30 June 2014

Back Again!

I've been away far too long again haven't I? Life has well and truly got in the way, with work, the radio show and me and Hague making the most of the sunshine when we're not at work, blogging has fallen by the way side. Add to the that the minor detail that I can't seem to manage a whole week on plan for love nor money and I'm sure you can see why blogging has slipped ever so slightly down my list!! 

I'm trying my hardest to get my head back in the game, and went back to weigh in last week for the first time in 3 weeks, to a gain of 9lbs - it's insane the amount of damage I can do when I fall off plan, quite frankly it's downright scary, and the line was drawn....

Line literally drawn there, and a promise made to Claire that I will never be that heavy again! I've  been working on ways to keep myself motivated, including a little motivational book, full of reasons, motivational quotes, pictures and ideas to help keep myself on plan - plus of course being on plan whenever I can. This week has been pretty good, with just Saturday being a bit wobbly, but not as wobbly as it could have been, or would have been before. Yesterday though, was completely on track...

I tried out something new in Starbucks, the Lime Refresha, which at 3½ syns for the grande is a lot better syn wise that the similar Green Tea, Lime and Mint Cooler at Costa, which I love, but it's 8 syns for a small one! It's all about the small changes....I thoroughly enjoyed my food yesterday, so it's now a case of onwards and upwards!

Today brings the start of my week of nights, after our show on Harbour Radio this evening at 5pm and I shall be trying to get a blog up in the mornings before I head to bed. I miss blogging - I love the feedback I get, and the fact that my honesty on the blog helps to keep me on track. I've not been totally off the rails, despite that scary gain though, it's mainly been the CBA's that have stopped me!! I'm started the week right, with some toasted couscous soaking ready for breakfast, soup already done overnight in the slow cooker for work, and as I'll be at the radio station until past 7pm and I'm going to try and quickly weigh in tonight I'm also getting my dinner for before work ready now, so I can just re-heat it when I get in! I'm scaring myself with such organisational skills! 

So I shall leave today's blog there, with yet another promise that I'll try and get you all updated far more often, and a few piccies from the last week or so, to show you what I've been up to!

Fitting into Little Booteek sale goodies! LOVE this dress! 

Meeting Minions, which was hugely exciting for me...even though I'm 39 :)

Plus of course hosting our Lust for Life show on Harbour - such great fun, and you can listen in every Monday between 5-7pm at www.harbourradio.co.uk, or try the little gadgety thing up there on the right hand side of the blog!

Back soon!!! xx